How I learnt my self worth

    Sitting one monsoon and thinking about the things that I did in my past, or may I say things that I learnt from my past.A breezy morning with dark clouds was probably a usual day but with 1000s of unusual thoughts. Thinking about where do I lie in this competitive world. Where being an aimless, jobless is a crime. If you aren't competitive and rush towards your goal you will be smashed by others who are faster than you..So what should I do..? Didn't I learn anything till now. I will soon be turning 23. These feelings were just rushing my mind and I stopped my shaking mind with a click of fingers.
    I began to think of what I have achieved and learnt rather than pointing out my negativities. In the first minute of my thought I recollected my academic achievements and progress, in the latter period I planned on going through my past relations. Because probably your experiences with people teach you what you have been thinking in that age..
       I started dating at the age of 15, where I first thought the need of having someone in my life. I wasn't like this in my childhood. Painting, artwork,craftwork would sum up my day.i still remember the first time in my shower I had an expert conference, ofcouse with myself. So, I now think why all of a sudden I needed some another person to take decisions for me. Why was I giving my independence to someone else. Was I losing my "SELF WORTH ?"
     I don't remember myself being single since then..I kept on dating men until I found someone to replace the previous.i never turned back n realised someone was hurt or someone had hurt me. Until I met someone who taught me to live my life to the fullest. No, not a man this time. It was me.
    I started reading one novel 

"Ladies coupe" by 'Anita Nair'.
Our main protagonist of the novel Akhila taught me a new way of living life.I realised that I could relate to her life.
Growing up in a middle class family and being a woman always taught me being submissive of a man I choose to be with.
Listening to whatever decisions he took for me. But that one attempt of mine where I planned of being alone yet happy and independent taught me my worth.
     I understood that a maybe man could help you to learn something good from him. But I never need a man to complete me. Defining my identity could only be done by one person and that's ME.
Because rationalizing ourself based on someone else judgement is not something Akhila would prefer and I believe nor a woman should. Know yourself. Know your worth..!